Hello! Welcome to Together in Surgical Menopause, a patient led, fact based resource for those who are either experiencing or would like to learn about surgical menopause.
It was through sharing our struggles with surgical menopause on social media that we met. We quickly realised that we’re both as barmy as one another and have been close friends ever since.
Having both had a total abdominal hysterectomy and bilateral oophorectomy, it quickly became apparent that information, resources and support for women in surgical menopause is lacking and whilst there is so much menopause information out there, (menopause is definitely the new black!) it is often aimed at women over 50 and doesn’t encompass everything that a woman in surgical menopause may experience.
So frustrated by our own difficulties in receiving timely and up to date support, we decided to create this website in the hope that it will offer useful information and advice, along with reassurance that you’re not alone in this, we’re right behind you.
Kayleigh & Sophie x
Kayleigh
In January 2016, I had a hysterectomy and bilateral oophorectomy, aged 30 due to enduring countless years of heavy and painful periods, mild endometriosis and severe PMS (which we now know to have been undiagnosed PMDD).
Post-surgery, I was left to suffer for just over two years, leaving my job in the process as I struggled to cope. Thankfully I was eventually referred to a menopause clinic where I was put on hormone implants, oestrogen and testosterone, after exhausting all other options in terms of conventional HRT. This alongside other lifestyle changes & psychological support has helped me to cope better with surgical menopause.
At my lowest ebb, I trawled through the internet desperate to arm myself with information regarding surgical menopause and found very little out there. I happened to come across Menopause Support and got in touch with Diane Danzebrink. It was Diane that counselled me through my hardest moments of surgical menopause and some of my past PMDD issues and encouraged me to write.
I joined Instagram and began to share my story, in a real and relatable way. I find writing cathartic and very quickly women began to message me, thanking me for sharing my story. I get lots of messages from women who are feeling at their wits end asking for any advice that might help them.
I remember how relieved I was to find Diane and how I related to her experience of surgical menopause, which is why it is so important to me to share what I can to help other women. No one should feel alone in this.
Connecting with other inspirational women on social media has helped me to educate myself further on various aspects of womens health and I have met some incredibly kind people like Sophie, whom I now consider a close friend.
I am married to my wife, Sarah who has been my rock since we got together in the summer of 2015. I also feel very lucky to be step mum to 3 amazing boys, and our family is completed by our two lovely but very stubborn English Bull Terriers, Roxy and Teddy.
Outside of work, you’ll usually find me outdoors looking for some moody skies to capture, photography has become my therapy and I love to get lost in it. I love to be outdoors, either hill walking or running. I enjoy sports, particularly playing and watching football, and anything that gets the adrenaline going.
Sarah and I love to explore new places together both in the UK and abroad and we spent our honeymoon at the top of beautiful Mont Blanc in Chamonix.
Sophie
Following a total abdominal hysterectomy and removal of both ovaries due to endometriosis and PMDD I felt pretty blindsided by the sheer ferocity of the surgical menopause symptoms that began within hours of surgery. No two women are the same, my experience may be entirely different to yours (I hope so!) but there I was, at 32 years old with the most exhausting hot flashes and relentless night sweats, not to mention a crippling fatigue and a detached grogginess and inability to form coherent sentences. Post surgery I received no follow up care and was repeatedly offered anti depressants, sedatives and anti-psychotics, instead of the HRT that my body so evidently needed.
The delay in receiving timely help and support left me feeling utterly helpless and so alone. The impact on my home and work life was huge. Although relieved to be free of the pain and bleeding associated with endometriosis, the cognitive menopause symptoms left me struggling both at work and at home. I was left with no choice but to reduce my hours and change job role, with huge financial repercussions.
After much begging and failed attempts to receive help from my GP, it was a plea on social media that was the beginning of feeling more ‘like me’ again. My tweet was answered by the lovely Diane Danzebrink. With Diane and Dr Hannah Short’s support; we learned that despite taking HRT, my oestrogen levels were very low - my body just wasn’t absorbing HRT.
Of course, HRT isn’t the only answer. In surgical menopause you need to take care of you more than ever before. Weight bearing exercise, a healthy, balanced diet and time for you to just breathe is essential.
After much trial and error trying all of the HRT’s out there, I now have 5 monthly HRT implants, this treatment unfortunately isn’t commonly used and is very difficult to get hold of. The implants have reduced the menopause symptoms and made them much more manageable.
Driven by my frustrations and difficulties accessing menopause support, I decided to do something about it. Eager to share factual, evidence based information both in the community and the workplace I founded The Menopause Club in Hertfordshire which proved so popular, I’ve since begun another in Lincolnshire.
It was through social media that I met lovely Kayleigh and she’s not been able to get rid of me since. Together we created ‘Together in Surgical Menopause’. This page is driven by our own struggles to find up to date, accurate surgical menopause specific information, and we hope that it’s both informative and comforting, you’re not alone in this, we are right behind you.
I’m mum to beautiful teenage twin daughters and wife to Stephen, Boris our chow chow completes our family.
Outside of my job in a large Defence company, you’ll usually find me baking, painting or creating a floral masterpiece! We love to travel and I often take a stack of menopause information leaflets along for the ride.
Cheryl
Heyup, I am Cheryl, I am from Sheffield, Yorkshire. I live with my husband and 4 children.
From age 13 I have had endless issues from chronic period pains, heavy bleeding and extreme mood changes. Fast forward to around my twenties and my periods literally took over my life.
I have trialled every contraception pill going, only to find my symptoms getting worse. I was finally diagnosed with PMDD ( after 5 years of pleading for help). Next step was starting the HRT journey, I became very poorly. I was told that I was progesterone intolerant and the only way to stop all my symptoms was to have a full hysterectomy.
In July 2021, I had a full hysterectomy. On the morning of my surgery, the consultants words were ‘now you can stick a patch on and enjoy the rest of your life!’
I woke up and surgical menopause hit me hard. I was left with no HRT, a delayed follow up and no support whatsoever. I had no option but to go private to get a prescription of HRT. 6 months after surgery - I completely crashed.
I had anxiety, fatigue, brain fog , severe depression, couldn’t stop crying and didn’t want to be here anymore. They were dark days. I couldn’t cope with anything. I was struggling to work, be a mum or wife. I reached out to instagram for answers and found this wonderful support group. After my 1st Zoom , I felt a sense of relief that I wasn’t alone. I soon realised I wasn’t absorbing any HRT.
Almost 2 years on and I am still paying private. I am on the HRT implants journey and still learning what works for me.
It’s not all doom and gloom.
I have successfully opened a Facebook support group in my area with 500 members. I have led 4 menopause face-to-face support groups. I am working with local GPs and gained funding for a menopause cafe twice a month. Also the local doctors have now opened a menopause clinic every week. Things are changing!
In all my research, doctors, endocrinologists, menopause specialists appointments. I have found the best support you can get is from other ladies in surgical menopause. Their personal experience and advice is the best.
My real passion is supporting ladies in surgical menopause. I am honoured to be asked to help in this fantastic support network with the best ladies with the biggest hearts ❤️
Remember there is light at the end of the tunnel
